Responsibilities to Parents

It has been a blessing to have my dad visiting with me these last two weeks...looking forward to the next four and a half months to come. This will be the longest that I have spent with him in thirty-six years. He is eighty-eight years old and is faithful to the Lord. As we have been praying, reading, witnessing and fellow-shipping together...I began to think of my responsibilities to my dad.

The Bible teaches us three main principles concerning our parents:

1)    Obey (Eph 6:1;Col 3:20)

The issue of obedience relates to action. As one lives under the roof of their parents...they are obligated to obey in all matters. When a daughter is married...the transfer of authority goes to her husband...her father is no longer her head. When a son is married he becomes the head of his home under Christ and not his father. (1Cor 11:3)

2)    Honour (Ex 20:12;Eph 6:2)

The issue of honour relates to attitude or respect. This command remains in effect regardless if one lives at home or not. Our parents are always to be treated with respect.

3)    Requite (1Tim 5:4)

The issue of requiting relates to making amends. This last command is found in the context of the church’s responsibilities to the widows. This command is to the immediate family to take care of their own. After all family members have been exhausted...then, the church takes them in their care after the widows meet certain qualifications. Nestled in this text is a very important, but often overlooked principle of requiting! It is defined by Webster as: 1.To repay either good or evil; in a good sense, to recompense; to return an equivalent in good; to reward. 2. To do or give in return. Another words...we need to do all that we can to take care of them as they enter their golden years of life. In the gospel accounts... (Mt 15:3-6;Mk 7:9-13) Jesus iterated this very important principle. The Jews had developed certain traditions that were elevated above the word of God...one of these was concerning the matter of giving. Their tradition would exempt them from taking care of their parents if they had dedicated/designated some money (“gift”) to God who was greater than their parents. They promised to give monies, but at the neglect of taking care of their parents. Jesus rebuked the scribes and Pharisees for elevating this tradition above the clear commands of scripture to honour their parents! (Ex 20:12). Their action made the word of God of “none effect” (Mt 15:6;Mk 7:13) The clear commands of God always take precedence over traditions! Let’s never allow any of our decisions, promises, etc. to make the commandments of God of “none effect”

It is inconceivable how one can nullify the word of God when one considers the following passage...

Heb 4:12  “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

...but it is possible as Jesus said.

The Bible teaches that believers ought to support their local church, give to missions, building fund, etc. through their tithes and offerings. When it comes to giving above and beyond this...let’s not forget to requite our parents. Let us not neglect them under the pretense of spirituality. Taking care of them and providing for them is a spiritual act.

Bro. Ken Parrett

Joshua 1:8,9

Ability and Character

Ex 18:21 Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens:

In this passage we see Jethro, Moses father-in-law’s recommendation of delegating some of his responsibilities to men of ability and character. Some have contested whether Moses was listening to worldly advice from Jethro...but Deut 1:9-18 is God’s confirmation of Jethro’s advice to Moses. God is for delegation!

When comparing both passages we can see the requirements for choosing leaders.

In the Ex 18 passage we see...

1. “able men”
2. “such as fear God”
3. “men of truth”
4. “hating covetousness”

In the Deut 1 passage we also see...

1. “wise men”
2. “and understanding”
3. “known among your tribes”

From examination we can clearly see that one requirement was ‘ability’ and the rest relate to one’s character. Sometimes when churches are looking for a pastor they focus on the ability and/or preaching of the candidate and fail to consider the overall character of the man.

In 1Tim 3:1-7, Paul’s letter to pastor Timothy in Ephesus, Paul gives the requirements for ordaining  a bishop. Everything in this passage relates to one’s character...nothing is mentioned concerning his preaching abilities. (And I love good preaching!) In the last 37 years of ministry...I have heard a many dynamic preachers...their messages were sound, but with some, later found out about a serious flaw in their character which went unnoticed even though they were preaching up a storm.

In Paul’s list of requirement’s, notice....

7  Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

One aspect of choosing leaders that is rarely ever considered is one’s testimony with the lost of the world! When was the last time you heard a pulpit committee call on some of the previous employers to see what kind of worker he was and what about doing a credit check to see his history of paying his bills. The requirement to find out his testimony among the lost is one of many requirements.

You see...some have focused on one’s ability and disregarded one’s character in some/all areas. The other error is to disregard one’s ability and to focus on one’s character. When choosing people in leadership positions...we must consider both ability and character. God expects both!

1Ti 1:12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry;

Paul’s testimony was that God “counted” him faithful. When considering men for leadership positions...we must strive to look at what God looks at and not be taken up with what impresses men. What God thinks is far more important than what man thinks and many times are worlds apart. Is 55:8,9

Bro. Ken Parrett

Joshua 1:8,9

"Written for Our Learning"

I was saved in 1974 at 18 years of age. I don't have one of those testimony's of a life filled with riotous living prior to salvation. I was a faithful Roman Catholic,…somewhat moral, but lost and in need of a Saviour. Regardless of what kind of testimony one has...the main thing is...are you saved?

The Lord gave us the whole Bible for a purpose...it is for our “admonition” and “learning”. Rom 15:4;1Cor 10:11 In the Bible, there are “ensamples” and “examples” 1Cor 10:6,11…these are patterns. The Bible gives us good patterns to follow and shows us bad patterns that we are not to follow…we must be discerning to know the difference.

The Bible tells us that we are to "teach others" 2Tim 2:2 what we have learned. Many times that teaching is right from the Word of God. We as fathers need to teach our wives 1Cor 14:35 and our children Prov 22:7. Not only should they learn the Word of God...but they should learn from our past experiences whether they be good or bad. 

We must be careful that we do not glamorize our past before the cross...but we should also be honest with our kids. We must admit when we have failed...we must apologize when we have done wrong. Our children can learn from our past successes as well as our failures.

When looking at the life of Abraham...we see two major lapses of his faith Gen 12 & 20 which led him to not trust God and to lie about his wife. Both incidents were 25 yrs. apart. Isaac was born (Gen 21) right after the last episode. The Bible is silent concerning Abraham's sharing of his failures with his son Isaac in this regard. I wonder if he had shared these with him... if Gen 26 would have ever occurred. Isaac repeated the same failure as his father…we are prone to repeat the same failures as our parents unless we know about them and learn from them.

Dads, fathers, and pastors...be open and honest about your fault's and failures in life. Children must learn from their parents past failures.

One might be saying...it is not right to bring up the past...but, let's remember that the Bible is a record of the past failures and successes of men. We are still reading these recorded events thousands of years later. Would we want our past, good and bad to be in print for the whole world to see? Thousands of years later we are still reading about Abraham’s failures.

Let’s learn from the past failures of ourselves and others…remember…they were written for our learning!

Bro. Ken Parrett

Joshua 1:8,9